homestucks-and-shit:

swagscats:

bagmilk:

ONLY DEAD PEOPLE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN U DIE AND THAT FRUSTRATES ME

actually my friend had an operation last year and she was legally dead for seven minutes from loss of blood and she said it literally feels like absolutely nothing

that’s not comforting

(Source: heteroh)

694,752 notes

weedkinz:

When I was like 8 my mom took sims away bc I made girls kiss lmao nice try mom I’m still gay

103,953 notes

swarnpert:

taping mistletoe to my butt so you can all kiss my ass

228,801 notes

aidn:

i just had a huge moment of realisation in this lecture and need to tell you all right now. in the film I Am Legend, Will Smith watches the film Shrek. this means that dreamworks animation studios exists in this universe. this would mean that the film Shark Tale, in which Will Smith voices an animated fish also exists in the I Am Legend universe and I’m not sure what this means

34,545 notes

harm-the-unknown:


Director: Okay, so Gerard, you’re going to throw this shirt in the wash. Frank, you’re going to fold these pants. Ray, you’re on the dryer. 
Mikey: What do I get to do?
Director: Uhhh…..Here. You can pour the detergent into the machine.
Mikey: Bitchin’

I FOUND IT

harm-the-unknown:

Director: Okay, so Gerard, you’re going to throw this shirt in the wash. Frank, you’re going to fold these pants. Ray, you’re on the dryer. 

Mikey: What do I get to do?

Director: Uhhh…..Here. You can pour the detergent into the machine.

Mikey: Bitchin’

I FOUND IT

19,138 notes

holyghoul:

im just a human bean

(Source: jaatri)

316,559 notes

  • me: google look up how many watermelons someone has shoved up their ass without dying
  • google: zero results
  • me: time to make history

43 notes